This evening we went to a classy jazz restaurant, listened "under my skin" and had some red wine.. we left, stopped to eat something, came back home laughing and singing.. then stopped to talk a bit and what came out is that now I'm pretty much more alone then I was before... Probably my poor little brain hasn't still grasped what happened but something is already missing.. I can't describe what I feel other then that because actually I don't feel..I just know that, when this thing starts beating again, it will hurt way more then before...

I'm sorry...I failed you... as friend and person...

Edit: maybe not all is bad as it seems.. it'll be hard but not everything is lost.. something better can be made again from this.. and I want to try..wish me luck...